Spread the Word to END the Word!

Growing up, I lived in a pretty lenient household when it came to expressing myself. I wasn't scolded or punished for using the odd "curse" word when I skinned my knee or got really angry. I was encouraged to speak my mind, and express myself in regards to whatever I felt. Of course, I was taught manners and didn't just let the curses fly willy nilly, but I was far from a perfect kid when it came to language. There was one exception: a word that I was never, EVER allowed to say.

I remember once, riding in the car with my Dad, coming home from some after school activity. I was telling him about a fellow student I didn't like, and describing their annoying behavior. "He's such a retard," I said, bringing my arm inward and tapping the edge of my palm on my chest several times, a gesture to emphasize my point. 

I had never seen my Father so angry at me. I probably haven't ever seen him that angry since. "We don't ever, EVER use that word," he said, his face red. "And I never want to see you make that gesture again. That is disrespectful, offensive, and it can really hurt people." I was horrified - not only because I'd made him so angry at me (something I rarely saw), but because I genuinely hadn't thought about the fact that the word was hurtful. I thought it just meant annoying. I had no idea of the implications and stigma behind its use, or how very upsetting it is to so many. 

Now I'm all grown, and I'm sure I've made my fair share of faux pas over the years. Nobody can get it right all the time, and we're always in a state of learning about language, what is okay, what isn't, and how to modify our thoughts and behaviors. I can tell you one thing though - I never used the word "retard" ever again. I cringe when I hear other people say it in a derogatory fashion. Seeing the visceral reaction it had on my Father forever soured me to the word and made me understand immediately how hurtful and derogatory it can be. 

My friend Ginger explains it so much more eloquently than I ever could in her own blog. Please, take a moment to read her heartfelt words about her daughter and how the word "retard" should be struck from our vocabulary. It's high time we reevaluated the words we use and how they can cause pain to people. 

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