As
most people probably are, I'm breathing a sigh of relief that the
probably-contrived Duck Dynasty kerfuffle seems to be ending (let's
hope). Unless you've been living under a rock, you've heard about the
comments Phil Robertson made about the LGBT community and have
probably chosen one side or the other in the heated debate that has
taken over this holiday season. Now that tempers have cooled, and
attentions are waning, I'm relieved, but also disheartened at what I
saw, read and heard. I'm left with a sense of desperate anger, and a
wary sadness that I don't know what to do with.
It
turns out that I'm guilty of naivete when it comes to this topic –
somehow, I had cocooned myself in a bubble, carefully ignoring the
bigotry and prejudice aimed at the homosexual community around me.
I've always considered myself an advocate for LGBT rights, and with
every State and Country that legalized same-sex marriage and/or civil
unions this year, I fist-pumped in solidarity. I've been overly
certain, you see, that the tides were turning, that those outdated,
hateful attitudes towards gay people were becoming obsolete in the
face of all of the new, positive changes overtaking the country. I
haven't been blind to the still-too-rampant prejudices, but I suppose
I just assumed they were waning, and that those hateful bigots were a
dying breed – a last-ditch attempt to try and spoil the party, but
an ultimately unsuccessful one.
So,
when the Phil Robertson story broke, I snickered, and re-posted the
article with a laugh. “What an idiot,” I thought to myself with a
smile. “They'll rip him apart. I can't wait to see the adoring
masses turn on him and his stupid show.” There wasn't a question in
my mind that he would lose favor with his fans and that there would
be a huge boycott of anything related to Duck Dynasty. I read the
article in full, grimaced at all the homophobic and racist comments
he made, then I closed it, not giving it another thought. See, I
don't watch the show, and I'm not really a fan of the series. I have
no real stake in what he says, and I didn't care all that much at the
time. I read it, re-posted it, and it was promptly forgotten. Phil
Robertson is, or should I say, was, barely a blip on my radar. The
bigoted musings of a phony, concocted “redneck” reality tv star
was more amusing to me than alarming. I figured everyone would be
equally disgusted and bemused.
I
was very wrong. I was in the car rider line, picking up my son from
school, when I re-posted the silly story from my phone. By the time I
got home, I had multiple comments on the post and several private
messages from people who wanted to debate the issue. Other than a
couple of people, almost everyone who engaged me on the topic were
pro-Phil Robertson, and were vehemently defending not only his right
to speak out, but the actual comments themselves. For the most part,
the debate that happened on my Facebook wall was pretty civil, to my
friends' credit. But nonetheless, I was shocked, and incredibly
saddened to see so many people rallying around such bigotry. Further,
they were using Biblical quotes and Christian ideals to back up his
idiotic and hateful statements. After a while, I had to step away
from the thread and take a break. And that was only on the first day,
the afternoon that the story broke. The next few days were enough to
make me physically ill. I took a break from social media all together
for a while, since everywhere I turned was filled with arguments,
mocking and hate-filled diatribes, memes of Phil Robertson covered in
Bible verses that were totally taken out of context, article after
article about “free speech”, what it means, the “War on
Christmas” (because of course someone had to tie it in), and more
homophobia and bigotry than I realized existed among my group of
friends and family. People I thought were good friends were saying
the most awful things, things that nearly made me cry. One post in
particular said something along the lines of, “Phil Robertson's fan
page has more 'likes' than Obamacare. Suck it, faggots.” I
literally got sick after reading that one.
I
don't know why I was surprised by it. It's not like I don't know from
firsthand experience that homophobia exists, and that there are many
people who will hide behind religion and/or politics to safely
express their prejudices. I guess I just thought that it was fading
away, becoming obsolete, and that those of us on the side of equality
and unconditional love were “winning”. And I thought that I had
protected myself better from those people who sought to hurt with
their judgmental attitudes. Mostly, though, I was the most upset by
the fact that so many people were quoting Bible verses (some of which
don't actually exist in the Bible), to support their viewpoints.
They actually had the gall to claim that Jesus himself would share
their views. That Jesus himself would condemn a gay person. Even
after the Pope himself made comments to the contrary, still these
people would claim that God hates Gays and that Gays are Sinners and
that Phil Robertson didn't say anything hateful, mocking or rude at
all – he was just expressing his god-given right to an opinion as
an upstanding, Christian citizen of this Country. I couldn't believe
it. I still can't.
It
isn't what Phil Robertson said that has me upset – I still maintain
that I couldn't care less about what the man says, and I suspect the
whole thing was a carefully contrived publicity stunt anyway. It's
not him, or his ghastly interview that broke my heart. It was the
attitude of those around me, those I love, the sheer intolerance,
ignorance and misplaced pride in those who I thought knew better,
that broke it.
I
studied Religion in college, and I've read the Bible from cover to
cover many times in my life. When I was younger, I made a study of
Jesus. Even though I don't identify as Christian anymore, I still
hold to Jesus' views when it comes to many things. He was an
admirable man, a man worth reading up on. He said and did so many
things that are a shining example of how we should all behave in this
world. Jesus taught the message of unconditional love, and he also
taught that you should never judge a person, unless you want to be
judged yourself. He said to love your enemy, whoever that might be,
and that if someone hurts you, to never act in retaliation. Literally
every message he ever gave was about acceptance, tolerance, love and
selflessness. Nowhere is it documented that he wanted his followers
to be obsessed with the salvation of others, to judge people, to
offer mocking and critical opinions of others' lives, or to be caught
up in the gleeful celebration of condemnation of others. I imagine he
would look to that sort of display and find it vulgar, ungodly, and
sinful.
Jesus
never said one word about homosexuality. The only slight mention of
it is in the Old Testament, along with a lot of other guidelines that
modern-day Christians carefully ignore, like the fact that you
shouldn't eat pork, or wear mixed fabrics; you should keep your beard trimmed at all times
(looking at you, Robertson), and some truly primitive views on
premarital sex, marriage and child-rearing. We don't pay attention to
most of those passages because we recognize them as outdated and out
of context with our modern lives. And yet, so many people cling to
that one tiny, probably misinterpreted passage about homosexuality,
because it allows them to be bigots without repercussions.
Here's
the thing. The Bible says a lot of things. A lot of really sensible,
important things. Here's one:
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." - Matthew 7:1-5
And
another:
“Therefore,
as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves
with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
- Colossians 3:12
And
another:
“And
as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let
him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone...[at
her.]” - John 8:7
And
finally, my favorite:
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.” - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
The way I've always seen it, to walk in the path of Christ is to love everyone equally and unconditionally, reserving your right to judge anyone, lest you be judged in turn. A true Christian is humble, giving, kind and compassionate, even to those whose salvation may be in question (though that should always be left up to God, and a true Christian should not concern themselves with the salvation of others, beyond spreading the word). To be Christ-like is to love, without fail, without pride, without expectation or condition. Simply, to love. Anything negative, mocking, judging, or proud is not an example of Christ. It just isn't.
I'm
grateful to my Christian friends who uphold this view, and who live
their lives accordingly. They are an example of what it means to be
good, and they repair the damage done by others who spread messages
of hate. I'm grateful for the Pope and his message of tolerance and
unity; I hope that he will continue to spread more open-minded and
inclusive ideas amongst the Catholic church, and that its followers
will begin to adopt the same ideology. Despite this setback, I am
still hopeful that LGBT youth will continue to see more acceptance
and tolerance, and that the country will continue on a path of
equality.
The
Phil Robertsons of the world may be loud, and they may be popular
among certain crowds, but they do not truly represent all of us. They
do not represent the core values so many of us cherish –
unconditional love, empathy, compassion, unity and respect. For those
people who still uphold those ideals, you have my respect. For those
who have fallen victim to the cult of personality, and have lost the
true spirit of Christianity, I can only hope you find your way back.
The Bible also says, after all, to beware of false prophets.
A
family member of mine said it best of all, “Before you throw all
your stones, might want to make sure Phil Robertson has a seat saved
for you in Heaven. Just in case.” And another infinitely wise duo,
Bill and Ted: “Be excellent to each another.”
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